Shallow Cuts

tfw you find yourself once again at the chaotic intersection of My Little Pony and Mordor , where Flowers in the Attic vibes meet the depths of early 90s Saturday morning cartoons. Here you find  Shallow Cuts (est. 2027)  shattering everything you thought a themed dance party could be. The Dress Code: Your absolute shallow  poniest attire. Think heavy glitters and bright neons, clashing directly with your finest Sauron-approved, gothic slutty granny aesthetic. The Mission: We do it all for Fifi as she celebrates her monumental Eleventith! Wizards' attendance is encouraged. Expect non-stop pop music, peak Gargamel/Azrael Virgo season energy, free donuts, and you (dancing without your phone on the dancefloor) Doors  10:00 PM Curfew  when we summit Mt Doom or confront Smaug (either/or) DJs Fifi Hi-Fi & Mike D, Triangle's Worst DJs award winners $5 bucks